don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
