I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Never joke about your clitoris.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
