Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
