i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
