all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
