I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize