I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
