:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
