I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
