awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
