I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Holy shit dude........stairs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize