In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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