they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
