okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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