when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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