You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just want nice things and good sex
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
