I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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