thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
