I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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