I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
