I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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