dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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