We won't sleep together?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
they're like a gay fantastic four
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
