After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
