No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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