I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
