she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
