it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
