Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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