that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My Higher Power is John Stamos
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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