Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
