Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
