why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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