he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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