dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
love makes seman taste better
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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