Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
