U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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