If i could tip my vagina, i would.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's blow job season.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
