Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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