Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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