At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
