Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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