She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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