but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
