i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize