I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
