what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
