Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
