need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
