you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
