wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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