Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
