OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
