Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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