You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
