Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So many bounce houses so little time
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
