the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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