Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
