I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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