Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
