Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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