I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
