I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
